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  • fictional narratives

    fictional narratives

    Queen,

    Let’s fix your crown. I needed mine fixed in the worst way a few months ago. I wish I had this blog post to talk me through a battle. A battle, I created…internally…that wasn’t REAL.

    I created a fictional narrative.

    I told myself a story that someone didn’t like me. That this person was throwing shade my way. That I was the victim. I was attacked. It was about me.

    Now, I don’t know that it wasn’t about me. It very well could have been. But the ‘shade’ doesn’t matter. My response to it does. I called a friend and vented. Even if it wasn’t about me, I had a systemic reaction to it. I connected to it. I felt it.

    So I pulled back. I stopped posting on social media for over a week.

    Why?

    I wrote a fictional narrative. In my head, this person hated me. They didn’t like me. They no longer respected me. They weren’t cheering me on like I had thought. They didn’t fix my crown.

    I was so insecure. So vulnerable.

    I needed time to reflect. Was anyone gaining from my posts? What was I really giving my followers? Did they get something from me every time they watched my story or visited my website? Am I providing value or filler content?

    Honestly, it made me better at my job. BUT I told myself this person was sending me negative energy when they probably weren’t. How often do we do this to ourselves? Tell ourselves a false story to fill in gaps.

    I did it again last week.

    I got an influx of followers and one name stopped me dead in my tracks. ( Due to my own insecurities from a past life.) I was convinced there were screenshots in a group chat making fun of me.

    CONVINCED.

    Well, guess what… it was a false narrative. They were cheering me on. They enjoyed my content…enough to reach out and tell me so.

    GUYS I WAS SO STRESSED. For no dang reason. It was all in my head.

    Tell me you have done this.

    Do you tell yourself you are not losing weight because it’s ‘hard’ or do you create the narrative that it is hard?

    Or do you think the girl who looks at you in the gym is judging you… she probably isn’t hating on you, she probably likes your pants…or your biceps. We project our insecurities onto others, and write these untrue and unfair stories in our head.

    These stories we carry weigh us down. They break us down.

    On the bright side, I was able to turn situation one in to feedback to make my content better. But for weeks I was so hard on myself. I was beating myself up. I wasn’t sleeping. I let someone’s potential opinion of me dictate my behavior.

    That’s insane right?

    I know, I know. I’m not proud of it. But it happened and I have learned from it. I am growing from it. I am better for it.

    Before you write a story in your head, approach it with logic and self love. The reality is probably much sweeter than the fiction in your head.

    I hope this helps just one person, and even if it doesn’t, it’s the post I so desperately needed when I was hard on myself.

    xoxo,

    K

  • HOW TO: Create a Positive Mindset // Learn from the Negative

    HOW TO: Create a Positive Mindset // Learn from the Negative

    hey queenie

    Good morning!!! If you follow along with my life, you will know that I try my hardest to live positively. Let me be the first to tell you, I wasn’t always Positive Polly. I faked it well, but ya girl was negative. Do you know what happens to people with negative energy? More negativity is attracted to them.

    Ew.

    In the same breath, positivity attracts positivity. I MEAN IT. Hi, so my life is the perfect example. I mean I work for TORI and JESS. Do you know anyone more positive than them? I don’t.

    How do you go from Negative Nancy to Positive Polly?

    EASY.

    Refocus your thoughts.

    I have to be up early turns to I get to wake up early.

    I have to pay rent = I have a place to live.

    I have to go to the gym = I’m healthy enough to move my body

    You get it. Lately, I have started my day with two things that have really impacted my life. First, I open my PocketFuel app and ready a daily devotional. It’s my way to connect with my faith and set my perspective for the day. Then, I practice a few minutes of gratitude. I just let my thoughts travel to all the things I am thankful for. For example, the cozy blanket Im under was a gift from a family I nannied for. They took me to the their beach house. I am thankful for the memories I have with them and the honor of watching their children grow up for the last five year. DONE.

    Easy. Right?

    I truly believe things happen for you not to you. My arthritis + lupus happened for me, not to me. I needed to learn humility, pain, and heartbreak. I found my voice and my strength. These are GIFTS. (Thank you Jesus)

    Okay but Katie the SAME negative situation keeps happening to me. Like sis what do I do?

    Learn. Make changes to your approach. Modify your behavior and//or mindset until you get the positive outcome you want. The universe or God or whatever you believe in, is challenging you to teach you something.

    We only grow, change and adapt from taking negativity and making it positive.

    THINK ABOUT IT.

    Do you learn more from wins or losses?

    Do you honestly analyze your wins (successes) has much as you replay your losses (failures)? I definitely didn’t (until recently).

    What I am trying to articulate is there is positivity in EVERY situation. There is a reason for everything. You just have to find it.

    Okay Queens… go CRUSH your day. Find the positive in everything.

    LOVE YOU

    xoxo,

    K

  • Skinny is a scam.

    Skinny is a scam.

    Hi. Welcome to my TED Talk.

    I have ranted about this a million times to friends, family, on my story and in classes. It’s time to bring the conversation here.

    SKINNY is a scam.

    But Katie how? It’s a body type.

    Lady Gaga once said ‘Baby you were born this way’. If Jesus made you a luscious lean cuisine rock that bod momma.

    She DIDN’T say ‘Baby you were marketed this way to make you feel like there is one type of beautiful”

    Selling Skinny is a scam, not actually being skinny. I mean have you seen my mom? She is the definition of skinny and totally healthy. Make sense?

    Skinny is being marketed as healthy by the companies that have minions slide in your DMs a message that (always) starts “HEY GIRL! You are sitting on a GOLD MINE. You should totalllyyy join my team and push chemical filled products on all your friends and family until everyone hates you”

    Okay that was a little harsh.

    My opinion STANDS.

    When people sell skinny, they are selling a quick fix. An ideal. A short term solution. Okay so you lost 20lbs in a month as promised.

    Now what?

    What did you learn? What underlying habits or noise did you work out. Or were you given products and promised results? If you stop taking their products what happens? Did they teach you a maintainable lifestyle or did you become a lifelong consumer?

    If you have a coach, what is their education? What are their certifications? What did they TEACH you. How did they problem solve with you? Did they give you cookie cutter advice or really learn about YOU and your body // needs? Did they guide you to make smarter choices, maintain balance and goal set.

    I truly believe you don’t need a coach for more than 3-6 months MAX. I believe, as a coach myself, my job is to teach, encourage and support. I don’t want lifelong clients. I want to guide as many people as possible to their healthiest they can be.

    Selling products disguised as a lifestyle isn’t the way to do it. Humans need nutrients not supplements. They need meals not shakes. They need education not lies.

    Slow, maintainable progress is always my goal. What you do to lose weight you need to do to maintain it.

    THAT’S RIGHT.

    What you do to LOSE weight is what you have to do to MAINTAIN it.

    So, if it isn’t sustainable you are wasting your time. Can you really live on TWO protein shakes and one meal a day?!? (HINT: heck no)

    Okay. Im done. I feel better. Do you?

    Please please please make sure you are treating your body with the all the lovin’ she deserves. I mean she is your ONLY real home. Treat her like the flawless queen she is.

    LOVE YOU

    xoxo,

    K

  • The Phoenix Effect Podcast

    Hey Pretty!!

    Last week I was interviewed on The Phoenix Effect Podcast…HOW FUN.

    Podcasts are everything and Michelle’s is so insanely inspiring. She interviews people who have risen from the ashes and it’s everything you NEED in life.

    Motivation for DAYS. Do me a favor and go binge listen while you meal prep or clean your bathroom. Also, go follow Michelle for all things fitness… you will L O V E her.

    xoxo,

    K

    Michelle’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/fip_lifestyle/

    To listen on iTunes: